The Ordeal of Uncertainty

We humans are funny, we love surprises yet fear the unknown. We fight our loved ones to surprise us in order to feel special but worry about the future. It seems we associate the emotion of happy excitement to surprise. Therefore, we like to think that we are in control of who will surprise us and when. We don’t realize that it is not the surprise we enjoy but the control & the known.

Shockingly, Covid-19 came knocking on our doors and took away the one and only thing we humans were so proud of – CONTROL!

For someone like me who took great pride in being this meticulous planner all my life with timelines of professional and personal activities sorted by the year, this global crisis of health & economy has thrown me completely off balance. I wonder what all the veterans who tell us to set goals have to say in this current situation. I almost feel like my root beliefs are being destroyed one by one as my plans fail again and again. Setting short term goals & timelines is definitely not working for me. Not letting go of the control is definitely not working for me. This phase made me realize that I love planning because I can’t deal with uncertainty and that’s exactly what’s in my face now. This feeling of uncertainty is not something I am used to dealing with so I found anxiety creeping into my space resulting in prolonged stomach aches. We all know by now that emotions are the cause of disease in the body. And therefore we must listen to our bodies.

Another realization, it doesn’t take a degree to go through life, it takes courage! A degree is a means to an end, it equips us to step into adult hood with financial independence. But beyond that what we make of our lives or rather how we go through it depends on our courage to deal with the circumstances that are thrown at us. There is no doubt that life is up & down not a straight line.

What does life look like when how I know it as it is has been taken away? This question will open up endless possibilities and hope.

The key is to stop clinging to what we already know and give a chance to new ventures.

It is not easy; change is hard; very hard but that is the only thing that keeps us alive. We grow every single day, we don’t remain the same person we were even just a year ago but we don’t mind that because we feel it is for our better. However, we do not apply the same principle to our work or relationships because we live with the illusion of ‘forever’. The truth is that nothing lasts forever and if it does it becomes stagnant and stinking. So, why do we want to believe that we must cling to our past and mourn because a storm took away what we had. Why don’t we believe that this storm has come to clear the rut we were in for regeneration to happen and for us to start afresh? I know this is hard because I am in it and I am trying to figure it out, we all are! Nobody knows how it is going to be but I know for sure that when this storm is over we will not be the same. And it is best to embrace this reality and move onto a new beginning. A new beginning of saying YES to our authentic selves by choosing what makes us come alive on the personal & professional front; not what we are ‘supposed’ to be or do.

Who are you at the core?

What are your natural gifts and talents?

Even if the new path we choose means less money, as long as our basic needs are met, life is good. If anything Covid has taught me, it is to be grounded because that’s where life really happens – on the ground; not in the air on cloud 9 (not in our heads)!

I came across the ‘Serenity Prayer’ and put this up on my wall for drawing strength:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.


It is time to explore new avenues, play with possibilities and see where life takes me! I think my body is asking me to shift from old beliefs to be born again, forget my old identity and get creative with living life without any titles! Suddenly I feel relieved and light when I make peace with not having to carry the weight of a title.

‘I am nobody, I am insignificant’ was one of my learnings at the inner engineering program of Isha foundation in 2019, but how deep that is for living a life of endless possibilities is something that has dawned upon me only now.

‘The leader who had no title’ by Robin Sharma is something I did not quite understand when I read it a few years ago so I put it down half way. It is time for me to give it a shot again in the new/current circumstances.

Those who enjoy listening to podcast, here is something I found interesting and helpful:

Cultivating Trust, Living Abundantly and Letting go of the Need for Certainty

UNLEASHED with Alexi Panos dated 3rd Feb 2020; available on the app Spotify.

Feel free to share your experiences with me about how you are dealing with your tough time.

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  1. This is so beautiful…Exactly what ive been thinking about this whole week..then such a beautiful coincidence you talk about it♥️Best thing ive Read Today..thank you for this!God Bless you

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