claim your shadow

My son is watching Peppa Pig (a cartoon web series) and I found something very interesting going on in this particular episode. The little ones were out playing and suddenly noticed their respective shadows. They got a bit rattled with this weird phenomenon and began running helter skelter in an attempt to get rid of it. Watching all this, the father came to their rescue and enquired about the scene. The little ones explained & expressed their concern that they are unable to run as fast in order to get rid of their shadows and asked Daddy to help them out. To their astonishment Daddy said “It is not about running fast or slow; you simply CANNOT get rid of your shadow.”

While we all know we cannot get rid of our shadows we almost never embrace it. By ‘shadow’ I mean, that side of you which you don’t like and therefore reject. The late Louise Hay said in one of her audios on YouTube that the answer to world peace is ‘Self-Love’. So, how will you love yourself if you reject a part of you? Or even worse, don’t even acknowledge its existence?

Recently my friend who knows me since 25 years called me a ‘selfish bitch’. I was taken aback and of course hurt. Given that my life’s problem has been putting others’ needs before mine and it took a lot of work to get rid of that pattern and learn self-love, this came as quite a shock to me. I went into introspection mode for a week analyzing the incident from all angles. It felt like all my years of loyalty and unconditional love & support that I had given her was instantly dismissed. And I kept sulking & blaming her for wronging me. Oh what a toxic person is she blah blah….you know the drill☺️

Even after processing how ‘wrong’ she was and how ‘right’ I was, I was still not at peace or happy about my conclusion. That made me realize that being ‘right’ didn’t make me happy. What exactly had rattled me was her allegation of I being ‘selfish’ and my values told me that selfish is bad. I had always been the ‘good girl’ and now somebody labeled me as the ‘bad girl’. Oh my, that was it!

And I began studying the supposed ‘bad girl’; analyzing her (myself) and exploring the angle of accepting her. So, I asked myself “What if I really behaved selfishly at some point? After all I am human and how I respond to a situation depends on that particular moment/point in time. May be I was absorbed with my own issues someday and I couldn’t help her as per her expectations. Does that make me a bad person or just human?” Suddenly, that moment I felt free and at peace because I had accepted my shadow.

The point here is that it doesn’t matter whether I am the good girl or bad girl, all that matters is that I accept that it is all part of me, that I am human & have many shades. Before this realization, I was unhappy because by blaming her I gave my power away to her but by accepting myself I claimed my power back. She doesn’t have the power over me anymore to make me feel miserable when she calls me out for being selfish or fake or attention seeker (insert all the uncomfortable adjectives you can think of). None of it rattles me anymore because I have claimed it all myself.

“I love and accept myself for who I am.”

Any person who claims to love you will accept you with all your eccentricities & weirdness. They will love all of you – the good & the bad…the beautiful & the ugly….the sane & the insane!

But how do you expect someone else to accept all of you if you don’t accept all of yourself?

Please know that not everybody is meant to love & accept you because you are special and unique.

Remember, as long as you are uncomfortable with yourself, external sources have the power over you so they will keep telling you who you are. Once you are in your own power you will be limitless in all aspects of your life!

You are a unique soul who has been on your journey since many lives; a lifetime’s work is required to know yourself so how can anybody else claim to know you. That’s plain silly.


Remember – You CANNOT get rid of your shadow; so CLAIM your SHADOW & get back your POWER!


1. List all the things about you that make you uncomfortable when called out for/otherwise.

2. Check each item – Does this item need Improvement or Acceptance?  (Pointer – Any item which deters/limits your growth practically has scope for improvement).

3. Items that need Acceptance – Tap them out using the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) – Google or YouTube to understand this.

4. Do this EFT for 21 days & feel the change within.

Signing off with Lots of Love,

Rashhmi Yadav

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  1. I loved the way you out the message across! Have had similar experiences but my acceptance was a very different self taught approach which may not work with everyone…… In the end it is to get up, dust off and move on ???

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